You ask me to write to you. Just like a drowning man is clinging to a straw, you, too, in a state of soul’s discontent, are seeking support from those near you. My life experience brought me to the conclusion that nobody and nothing is able to help us: neither man can help himself, nor other people can, but only the Lord. The disposition of your soul does not change for the better and sometimes even becomes unbearable, because you have little hope and trust in God. Remembering your sins, you correctly find yourself deserving punishment in the future life and also here, before death; and after death to be doomed to ordeals. It is possible to fall into blank despair, should one think so, forgetting about God’s love. May a Christian have such thoughts? If it had been possible for people to be saved by their righteousness, why would Lord Jesus Christ have to come to the world and suffer? No man has entered into the Kingdom of God by force of his deserves alone. Man should understand the following: 1) his decrepitude, wickedness, being fallen, his all-out wrongness, etc.; 2) to become convinced by his own bitter experience that he is unable all by himself to improve himself, though he should nevertheless incessantly wage a fight against his wickedness and deplore such his condition; 3) he should address the Lord as the publican did: “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” “I am perishing, drowning in the sea of my iniquities; save me, Lord Jesus Christ, as thou used to save all who turned to thee before me – thieves, publicans, harlots and others.”
God is Love. Out of love for the fallen humanity, God did not hesitate to offer his gracious sacrifice: God the Father sends His Son to be crucified; God the Sun obediently fulfills this duty until His death on the cross; God the Holy Spirit does not loathe coming into the sinful soul of man to cleanse and save it. What more is there for the Lord to do for our salvation? The Lord assured sinners that He did not want them to die but to live. “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.”
This means that salvation is insured for everyone who believes in Christ and asks Him to save from sin and eternal sufferings. The Lord promises forgiveness and mercy for repentance, so that if we ask, we will always get, according the Lord’s own words. The entire world was created by the Word of God, and by the Word of God, the world maintains order and does not turn into chaos. The same Word of God promises forgiveness of our sins and an eternal life in return for our faithfulness and repentance, the proof being the embodiment of God’s Son and His sufferings on the Cross.
You believe in all this. Why then do you have doubts about your salvation? How can you suggest that the Lord will allow you to suffer here or after death beyond your forces? “No, sir!” Your gloomy mood, disease, despondency and yearning are devil’s doing. Don’t offer your hand to him, banish all such thoughts by calling the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the publican’s prayer, thanking God for all things, for His love towards humankind, for His forbearance of your sins, for being merciful to you and to all people, for your illness – thank Him for each and every thing, commit yourself to His holy will and mercy – and relief will come.
You suffer because of little faith; you focus your attention on your own self, on your sins and forget about God’s love. Try the other way round. Always think first about the mercifulness of God, Lord’s sufferings on the cross for the sake of our salvation and then about your own sins. Let your sins incite you to say the publican’s prayer, to delve deeply into praying, but not be a reason for despair.
Be wise! Do not give up to the slyness of the enemies; scorn them, do not talk with them and remember the Lord saving us. May the Lord enlighten you here and in the future life.
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