Peace to you. Love of fame is an inherent feature of all people, and it is so strong that man becomes wholly interfused with it – from the outer looks to the innermost depths of his being. This feeling is also so poisonous as to impede any progress in one’s spiritual life to be made. It is necessary first to restrict this feeling and ultimately do away with it. Anyway, it is important to watch your emotions and suppress any expression of vanity by heartfelt regretting it. Appeal with a sigh to God with a sincere prayer, saying: “Oh, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, be merciful to me, a sinner. I do not want to accept this feeing, deliver me from it and grant me to see my transgressions.” In this connection, it would be proper to read the work by St. John of the Ladder about vanity, especially chapters 5, 6, 7,10,11, 14, 17, 23-26,31, 34, 38, 39, 41 43, 45; read also what he wrote about pride: chapters 1, 2, 5,11, 16, 17, 20, 34, 38.
Reproach yourself each time when breaking even the least one of God’s commandments, rejecting any attempt at justifying yourself. Remember the Savior’s commandment: “When ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, we are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do.” We, however, not only do not fulfill all commandments, but do not fulfill any one of them as properly as we should, but every now and then we are open for vanity and pride. May the Lord help you get rid of this viper! But we cannot defeat this ugliest and the meanest enemy without taking an effort and due care of ourselves and without beseeching God’s help. The cases of the manifestation of vanity about which you wrote to me are indeed very conspicuous and impudent. There are much subtler forms, and if it were not for God’s help, it would be easy to fall into despair. Rely on the Gospel and on the example of the Lord Jesus Christ in your struggle for humbleness against vanity.
On all occasions, whether insignificant or of great importance, put your trust in God rather than in your own forces. We are unable to do anything good and useful for ourselves without God’s help, for what might seem good to us, according to Mark the Ascetic, may turn to be pernicious, which in fact is any endeavor taken without prayer and without beseeching God’s assistance.
You are asking for my “holy prayers.” Only those prayers are holy that come from a humble heart and are pronounced with awesome love for God, whereas Pharisee-like prayers, filled with pride and self-conceit, are not holy, but blank vileness before God.
Please forgive me and seek salvation.
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