Thank you for the congratulations. I remember your request about N. I feel deeply sorry for him. Sometimes remembering him with love, I wish him to free himself from the devil’s paws. He should not look for what he lost in philosophy or science, but without having seen Him, make himself – by mere will-power – believe in Him and start building up his life according to that belief. In this case, he will receive help from the above that will disperse enemy’s darkness and get him assured of the truthfulness of Christianity with such all-powerful conviction that he will exclaim from the bottom of his heart: “O, Lord, I am ready to go through any hardships, only do not push me away from Thee!” All who sought God have experienced this moment. “Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: …What man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”
Why is he eating pork and has abandoned the Fathers? Does he think that all of them were in delusion?” If only one of them was telling the truth, the entire Christianity is truthful. And what tortures the martyrs had to suffer to witness the Truth which they had come to know?! Of course he needs personal experience. Let him ask and he will undoubtedly receive.
Sad and sorrowful as you might be, don’t lose heart. Devote more time to reading the Gospel. Jesus Christ used to forgive all who repented, but warned: “…go, and sin no more.” Turn to Him oftener admitting your wrong-doings, asking for His assistance, force yourself to say permanently – out loud and in thought – the Jesus Prayer.
May God enlighten you and keep you safe from evil. If you write to N, please convey my best regards to him and tell him that the Holy Fathers designated unbelief among passions, such as fornication, vanity, pride and others. Here the devil is working more than man. We must counteract unbelief in the same way as we are counteracting other passions: not deliberating about them, not opening discussion with them, but flatly rejecting them by will-power, as well as by prayer, especially the Jesus Prayer, which, as far as possible, we should make an on-going prayer combined with our heartfelt request for mercy. By His Holy Name, before which every knee of heavenly, earthly and underworld forces bows, the enemy’s force weakens, and peace, hope, faith and tenderness come into man’s heart, and all temptations go away. But as long as he continues reading scientific and philosophic apologies, he will be getting stuck deeper and deeper. He should better give up doing all this and turn to One Who is Way, Truth and Life.
May God help him! I am writing this as a brother, not as a teacher.
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