Peace and mercy of God be with you and Sergey. (Sergey Pavlovich Maninov is Katya’s husband, an accountant, a drunkard.) I have received your letter. You did not write about your feelings for a long time. I am glad that you are writing about them now, if these are what you really experience. People often write about their dreams or just to discuss what they read or heard. What you are writing about happens to all people, who are going along the road of spiritual life. Seek salvation, labor, pray and be at peace with other people, do not reproach anyone, but feel compassion for everyone, do not renounce obvious sinners, but sigh about them appealing to God to forgive and enlighten them about salvation.
The spiritual growth of man is measured by his humbleness. The higher man stands in his spiritual life, the more humble he is. And the other way round: the more humble man is the higher in spirit he stands. It is not the rules, prostrations, fasting or the reading of the Gospel, but humbleness that brings man closer to God. All, even the greatest, deeds without humbleness are not only good for nothing, but might be detrimental to man. We can witness how someone, because he happens to pray a little more than usual, to read the Psalter or fast a little longer than usual, becomes proud and feel himself better than others and starts reproaching other people and teach them when they do not ask him, and thus shows his own spiritual emptiness and his departure from God to a far-away reality. Beware of being haughty.
Our Lord Jesus Christ says that if we fulfill all that was prescribed – fulfill all commandments – we should feel like servants who have fulfilled their duties. Salvation is God’s gift to meek and humble. Therefore we need to ask God for humbleness. Humbleness is incompatible with condemnation of our neighbors and with our own touchiness. If we renounce or reproach others or if we get offended, we are in want of humbleness. Holy ascetics were grateful to those who insulted them, because through bearing offenses they learned how to be humble. The Mother of God says that God chose her because of her “low estate.” The Lord also calls on people to learn meekness and humbleness from His example – not to lean fasting, praying, not even love for the neighbor, but humbleness. Only through humbleness man becomes one in Spirit with the Lord, Who has humbled Himself to bearing spitting, beating and the Crucifixion. It goes without saying that we must try as hard as possible to fulfill all the commandments, but, I repeat, without humbleness they are either useless or even harmful. Don’t misunderstand me.
May the Lord enlighten you! May He deliver you from the slyness of visible and invisible enemies. These have indeed become extremely cunny. God bless you!
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