It is not for the first time that you are writing to me about your fear of death. If you focus on looking at any single object, you will see clearly this object, while other objects around you will be obscured. The same is true with the fear of death. If you look upon death with the eyes of the “old man” and focus on the sufferings at the death-bed, they will frighten you with their enormity. The demons will also do their part to add to your fears. If such your mood persists, no wonder you’ll be upset. One should approach death in accordance with the Word of God, like Apostle Paul and all saints did – seeking absolution and staying with Christ. One’s earthly life is a penitentiary exile. It is good to be released from prison or labor camps, but it is much more rejoicing for one to exit from the darkness of the earthly life.
You would argue that it is good if one goes to the Kingdom God, but what if hell is the destination? What prevents us from getting into the Kingdom of God? As was said to us, fulfill the commandments and you will be saved. Because we are impotent, wicked, subjected and accessible to demons, the Lord equipped us with repentance and other sacraments. If our repentance is sincere, the Lord will forgive us and will cleanse our soul from sinful ulcers and promise His Kingdom. If you repent your sins seventy seven times a day, you will be forgiven seventy seven times. If you have no trust in the Word of God, then, of course, you will have fears, fall under the influence of demons who will torture you. You, apparently, like the Pharisee, want – though may be unconsciously – to rely on your works of righteousness. But you should better be like the publican and seek your salvation relying exclusively on the mercy of God rather than on your good works, and then you will depart from this life, as the publican from the church – justified – and enter into the Kingdom of God.
Please pay special attention to this side of the problem, remembering that God has created people not to suffer, but to enjoy Divine happiness. The heavens are rejoicing about every repenting sinner to receive salvation. To die is to be born, and there is hardly a birth that passes without pain, but this pain will turn into joy, because it is a birth into the Kingdom of God. Deplore your every sin, feel sorry for every ill thought, for having little faith, for doubting, for the senseless fear of death; be sorry and repent at the same time. In this way, you will calm down and acquire peace at the soul together with a firmer trust in God’s will. Besides, the whole Church is praying on our behalf: “A Christian ending to our life: painless, blameless, and peaceful; and a good defense before the dread judgment seat of Christ, let us ask of the Lord.” You too, join in this Litany of the Church. May the Lord grant you wisdom and comfort.
Dear Sister, do not rebuke anyone, otherwise you will not get rid of your fears; for the Lord will not forgive you, if you do not forgive your neighbors and if you rebuke them. First, cast out the beam out of your own eye to learn to cast out the mote…
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