Why are you so depressed? Where is your faith? Hasn’t the Lord promised to fully provide for each one who is seeking the Kingdom of God and His truth? Check if you are involved in this search, if you have faith in the life after death, if you have trust in the teaching of the Holy Orthodox Church, in the teaching of the Lord, to be precise , promising that all people will be rewarded after death according to their deeds. Do you believe the Lord’s promise that not a hair will fall from your head without the will of the Heavenly Father?
If you believe in all that and in that God so loved the world that He sacrificed His Son, having sent him to infamy and to the death on the cross, so that everyone who believed in Him will not perish, you ought to give yourself completely to the will of God and weep not over the lost place or pension, but over grumbling, over your little faith, intolerance and every trespass of His holy commandments by which we respond to His love. Didn’t the Lord say that whom He loved, He would punish and by means of sorrows tear us off the earth – to let us “have our hearts lifted up ” not only during the Liturgy, but always. Do we have the right to tell the Lord what to do with us? We must be obedient to Him and stop grumbling and weeping about secular things, and instead start weeping over our sins and permanent violating God’s commandments and offending Him by our little faith, by lack of trust in His words, and insensitivity to His love for us. But if we do not see our sins, we should double and triple our weeping because not seeing our sins means that our soul has hardened and darkened, and our inner sight weakened. Kneeling down and with earth- bows, let us ask the Lord: “Let me see my trespasses. “
After cleaning ourselves by penitence, we will see that he hardships befallen us were nothing but an expression of God’s mercy and love for us, and that we need them more than all possible earthly goods. The most distinguished One, Who is more honorable than the Cherubim, and more glorious beyond comparison than the Seraphim, the Mother of the Lord, has undergone so great sufferings that the most serious yours would seem nothing to speak about.
Moreover, God does not allow us to encounter temptations and sorrows that would be beyond our capacities to overcome them. You did not yet fight till it bleeds, if you struggled at all against the enemy or against your passions, did you? Did you not show indifference about how you live, continuing to live anyhow? Did you not offend your neighbors? Were you never engaged in idle talking? Look through your life with a prayer, repent of past misbehavior sincerely and tearfully, promise to the Lord to undertake every effort to fight against sins and to fulfill His holy commandments – take an effort and you will soon see God’s mercy for you, and, probably, you will begin thanking God for the hardships He sent for you. Humble yourself before God and people.
If you fail to do anything of this kind, but continue committing sins and being sorry for yourself, try at least to endure the sorrows that might befall you without grumbling and say the prayer of the prudent thief: “I receive the reward that is due for my deeds.” Do not lose heart. Bear the Lord, weep over your sins, little faith, lack of trust in God’s providence for us, and the Lord will comfort you.
Forgive me and pray for me. May the Lord bless, enlighten and grant you solace.
My poor and saddened Katya, if I feel sympathy and care for you and remember you, will the Lord’s love and care not be by many thousand times greater? Bear Him and do not offend him by your complaints; and He will grant you solace much greater than what you might expect.
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